Now gluten-free!

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Change We Can Believe In

(HT: Chris Knight)

Monday, February 23, 2009

Fireman Accidentally Inhales Kitten

Currently making its way around the World Wide Web:
The story, whether true or not, is at least 15 years old. It was included in Jay Leno's Police Blotter, published in 1994.

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Pride and Extreme Prejudice

Filmmakers have been butchering literary classics for the last century, so this latest assault on Jane Austen should come as no surprise. Consider the following movies currently in the works:

Pride and Predator
Oh, yes. That Predator. This film "veers from the traditional period costume drama when an alien crash lands and begins to butcher the mannered protags, who suddenly have more than marriage and inheritance to worry about."

Pride and Prejudice and Zombies
The book, which is set to be made into a movie courtesy of Natalie Portman, "features the original text of Jane Austen's beloved novel with all-new scenes of bone-crunching zombie action. As our story opens, a mysterious plague has fallen upon the quiet English village of Meryton -- and the dead are returning to life! Feisty heroine Elizabeth Bennet is determined to wipe out the zombie menace, but she's soon distracted by the arrival of the haughty and arrogant Mr. Darcy. What ensues is a delightful comedy of manners with plenty of civilized sparring between the two young lovers -- and even more violent sparring on the blood-soaked battlefield as Elizabeth wages war against hordes of flesh-eating undead."

Methinks Hollywood has officially run out of ideas.

(HT: the inimitable Chris Knight)

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Hairing Aid

According to Guinness, Radhakant Baijpai has the world's longest ear hair:
    Considered by Mr. Baijpai, 58, to be symbol of luck and prosperity, his ear-hair has been growing since he was 18 and more importantly has never been cut.

    Maintained by a specially prepared blend of herbal shampoo, Mr. Baijpai has so far resisted the pleas of his long suffering wife to cut it off.

    "She has always been asking me to cut my ear-hair, but since the official record was confirmed by Guinness, she has allowed me to keep it because it is a source of pride to me," says Mr. Baijpai a resident of the northern Indian state of Uttar Pradesh.

Fortunately, I'm married to someone who maintains a constant vigil on my ear (and nose) hair. Thanks, Honey!

Thursday, February 05, 2009

Zombie/Raptor Holocaust: Fact or Fiction?

As if rush hour traffic wasn't chaotic enough. From the AP:
    Pranksters in at least three states are messing with electronic road signs meant to warn motorists of possible traffic problems by putting drivers on notice about Nazi zombies and raptors. And highway safety officials aren't amused.

    The latest breach came Tuesday during the morning rush hour near Collinsville, Ill., where hackers changed a sign along southbound Interstate 255 to read, "DAILY LANE CLOSURES DUE TO ZOMBIES."

    A day earlier in Indiana's Hamilton County, the electronic message on a board in Carmel's construction zone warned drivers of "RAPTORS AHEAD — CAUTION."

    And signs in Austin, Texas, recently flashed: "NAZI ZOMBIES! RUN!!!" and "ZOMBIES IN AREA! RUN."

    Officials in Illinois are concerned the rewritten signs distract motorists from heeding legitimate hazards down the road. The hacked sign on Tuesday originally warned drivers of crews replacing guardrails.

    "We understood it was a hoax, but at the same time those boards are there for a reason," said Joe Gasaway, an Illinois Department of Transportation supervisory field engineer. "We don't want (drivers) being distracted by a funny sign."

Hmmmmm. The government seems to be rather quick in dismissing this as a hoax. If you happen to live in Illinois, Indiana, or Texas, I'd keep an eye out...just in case.

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