Terrorist squirrel attack in NYC office building

A rogue squirrel broke into the Time Inc. building in Manhattan yesterday, terrorizing office workers. Security was no match for the furry tree rat. The New York Post has the story.

Find all the examples of racism in this swim safety poster

Let's play a game. See how many examples of racism you can find in this poster put out by the Red Cross. Ready? Set? Go!

If you couldn't find any examples racism, then you failed the test. As a white, middle-class person, you need to check your privilege and admit that you are incapable of understanding the kind of pain and suffering endured by those who have to deal with being triggered by the never-ending barrage of micro-aggressions inflicted by people such as yourself. You need to strive to be more like Margaret Sawyer, who took one look at that poster and recognized it for the racist propaganda that it is.

We now live in a world in which the mere hint of logic, reason, and rationality can be considered racist and intolerant. The sooner you get used to that fact, the better.

The squirrel headline we all knew we'd see eventually

It's one of those headlines you dreaded seeing, but knew was inevitable:

Rogue squirrel results in school lockdown, SWAT responds

The tree rat threat must be dealt with.

My take on the Starbucks "controversy": It's entirely fabricated

My conspiracy theory for the week: The Starbucks red cup "controversy" is entirely fabricated. Aside from Joshua Feuerstein (a guy no one had even heard of until this thing got started, and who I'm not entirely convinced isn't a character created by comedian Kevin James), not one professing Christian has complained about Starbucks. The only complaints I have seen are from those complaining about those who are complaining...who don't even exist. It's like starting a nationwide protest campaign aimed at unicorn poachers. You gotta love social media.

It is often said that any publicity is good publicity. And if New Coke worked for Coca-Cola in 1985, "anti-Christmas" cups will work for Starbucks in 2015.

British police: 'Turn in your knife, surrender your life.' Or something like that.

Six years ago, I made note of an interesting story from Great Britain about an "anti-stab" knife invented by industrial designer John Cornock. His line of knives, aptly named New Point, was inspired by a report about the life-threatening knife injuries doctors had to deal with every day.

Unfortunately, Mr. Cornock's potentially life-saving design hasn't caught on fast enough. Last year, police in Lancashire took a more drastic approach, starting an amnesty campaign designed to get Brits to turn in their more lethal, pointy knives.

It's a rather simple concept, much like the gun buyback scams perpetrated here in the U.S. Lancashire's law-abiding residents simply deposit their blades into designated "amnesty bins" conveniently located at various police stations across the county, and knife crime magically disappears.

Labour Police and Crime Commissioner Clive Grunshaw funded this brilliant program. "No-one should live in fear of knives being used in their community," he said (presumably in a snooty, condescending tone), "and I hope anyone in possession of an offensive weapon will use this opportunity to protect both themselves and those around them, by handing it in."

The amnesty program is still in effect, and the Lancashire Constabulary wants to reassure those who might be afraid of knife-wielding maniacs:

Don't be a victim

If you feel you are in immediate danger from knife crime there are a number of steps you can take to protect yourself:

• Move away from the situation towards a public place (shop, house, restaurant etc.) as quickly as possible.
• Make as much noise as you can.
• Instead of carrying a knife, carry a personal alarm.
• Don't fight back.

And, above all, don't even think about bringing a gun to a knife fight. This is Great Britain. If you want the right to defend yourself, move to America.

Similar programs have since sprouted up all across the U.K. The result? As of this past July, knife crime has gone up for the first time in four years. A 2% rise in all knife offenses has been reported, along with a 13% rise in assaults with a knife. What a shock.

You've got to hand it to our progressive friends across the Pond. They may not be the sharpest knives in the drawer, but they certainly are a persistent lot.

Man saves ribs from apartment fire

We've all thought about it at one time or another: If there was a fire, what would I save?

Robert Wright, of Fresno, made sure to save his ribs. After he saved his kids, of course.


I'm really hoping this interview gets "songified"!

'Amphibious' pitcher makes MLB debut

Switch-pitcher Pat Venditte of the Oakland Athletics is a natural. I heard he's been playing baseball since he was a tadpole.

(via SB Nation)

Shocker! Government plan to reduce obesity doesn't reduce obesity

When Los Angeles city lawmakers passed a zoning ordinance in 2008 limiting the opening of fast food restaurants in an area plagued by high obesity rates, who could have guessed that it would fail? Well, pretty much everyone with an IQ higher than a Big Mac—which might explain why government officials actually thought it would work.

The AP reports:

The research by the Rand Corp. think tank found that obesity rates in South Los Angeles continued to rise after passage of the law.

"It had no meaningful effect," Rand senior economist Roland Sturm said. "There's no evidence that diets have improved more in South LA. Obesity and overweight rates have not fallen."

I'm sure we can expect lawmakers to ask for more funding and propose further restrictions. After all, there isn't a problem in the world that can't be made worse with more bureaucracy.

Even the U. S. Postal Service is spying on you

A hidden camera that was set up at a post office in Golden, Colorado, to record the license plates and facial features of customers, vanished without a trace within an hour of being discovered by FOX31 Denver:

Bank of Canada upset at Star Trek fans for increasing value of its currency

Canada's five dollar bill sports an image of the country's seventh prime minister, Wilfrid Laurier. It just so happens that Laurier looks a bit like a hairless Spock, so Star Trek fans have been having a little fun:

Bank of Canada spokeswoman Josianne Menard acknowledges this kind of doodling isn't illegal:

However, there are important reasons why it should not be done. Writing on a bank note may interfere with the security features and reduces its lifespan. Markings on a note may also prevent it from being accepted in a transaction. Furthermore, the Bank of Canada feels that writing and markings on bank notes are inappropriate as they are a symbol of our country and a source of national pride.

Seems to me Ms. Menard should be thanking Trekkers for increasing the value of Canadian currency.

Leonard Nimoy dies at 83

Leonard Nimoy died this morning at his home in Los Angeles.

Bionic eye lets blind man see his wife for the first time in 10 years

68-year-old Allen Zderad's new bionic eye has allowed him to see his wife for the first time in more than a decade.


Doctors at the Mayo Clinic in Minnesota implanted the device, which involved inserting 60 electrodes into the retina, allowing images to be transferred directly from the camera to the optic nerve. Not quite the stuff of The Six Million Dollar Man, but it's certainly a huge step forward.

Exercise in a bottle? Does it at least come with a straw?

I was already excited about the robotic couch I could drive to the kitchen. Now, along comes Nestlé with a product that provides at least some of the benefits of exercise:

"Ideally, we'll be able to develop products that will help promote and augment the effects of exercise," said Kei Sakamoto, who heads the diabetes and circadian rhythms department at the Nestlé Institute of Health Sciences in Switzerland.

Specifically, Nestlé is working on a product that would regulate AMPK, an enzyme that scientists have dubbed the "metabolic master switch." The target customer is someone with diabetes or someone who is obese, according to the company.

Researchers at Nestlé Institute of Health Sciences and several other institutions found that a compound acts on the AMPK enzyme in mice to stop their livers from producing fat, according to a study published in July in the journal Chemistry and Biology.

Where can I get a case?

But don't think you're going to drink your way to a beach body.

The product won't outright replace exercise, Sakamoto said in a statement, explaining that even run-of-the-mill exercise has such a dynamic role that Nestlé will "never be able to mimic all those effects in a single product."

Oh. Never mind, then.

Man indicted for teaching others how to beat a polygraph test

Every once in a while you run across a news story with so much irony that it actually starts to rust. Like this one:

For at least the second time since 2012, the federal government has brought criminal charges, accusing someone of training people on how to beat a polygraph test.

On Friday, prosecutors announced an indictment against Douglas G. Williams, a 69-year-old man from Norman, Okla., who's accused of coaching people "how to lie and conceal crimes" during federally administered lie-detector tests.

Mr. Williams, who operates a company called Polygraph.com, says the mail fraud and obstruction of justice charges leveled against him are an "attack on his First Amendment rights." The indictment follows the federal prosecution of an Indiana man who received eight months in prison in 2013 after pleading guilty to similar charges.

So, they're upset over someone teaching others "how to lie and conceal crimes"? I guess the government really does hate competition.

Feed the homeless, go to jail

Many people will criticize this man for not following the rules. I would rather see those stupid rules repealed.

Creepy clown sightings just part of photography project...or so we are led to believe

When people began reporting seeing creepy clowns all over the town of Wasco, California, no one knew what to think. Turns out it was all part of a photography project:

Groundskeeper Willie on the issue of Scottish independence

(via Tastefully Offensive)

Fellow passengers tip train to free trapped man

With all the death and destruction in the news of late, it's all the more encouraging to see things like this. In the video, fellow passengers in Perth, Western Australia, work together to free a man who became trapped between the train and platform:


Always remember: mind the gap!

Private toll road solves a major problem for British commuters

Free enterprise tends to be much more reliable than government bureaucracy, and you can usually count the former when the latter breaks down—which happens more often than not. In this case, the solution to a seemingly insurmountable traffic problem was a private toll road:


I would love to see more stories like this.

(via 22 Words)

1981 report on internet newspapers

What? Newspapers on my home computer? That's the stuff of science fiction:

"[T]he new telepaper won't be much competition for the twenty-cent street edition."

Whew! Looks like you dodged a bullet there, mainstream press!

(via LifeBuzz)