'Don't try to fix it. I just need you to listen.'

Come on, guys. Why do you always insist on trying to fix the problem when all she really wants you to do is listen?


(via 22 Words)

Scientific explanation for why women talk more than men

From Science World Report:

You know all the times that men complain about women talking too much? Apparently there's a biological explanation for the reason why women are chattier than men. Scientists have discovered that women possess higher levels of a "language protein" in their brains, which could explain why females are so talkative.

Previous research has shown that women talk almost three times as much as men. In fact, an average woman notches up 20,000 words in a day, which is about 13,000 more than the average man. In addition, women generally speak more quickly and devote more brainpower to speaking. Yet before now, researchers haven't been able to biologically explain why this is the case.

Now, they can. New findings conducted by researchers at the University of Maryland School of Medicine and published in The Journal of Neuroscience show that a certain protein may be the culprit.

Finally, it all makes sense.

Captain Kirk knows how to treat a lady

(via Reddit)

LEGO marriage proposal

Using LEGOs to pop the question? That's how 24-year-old Anthony Pinder proposed to his girlfriend.

Standard apology form takes the hassle out of saying "I'm sorry"

From the Bureau of Communication:

Husbands, it wouldn't hurt to keep a stack of these in easily accessible places around the house.

How to get your ex-boyfriend arrested

I ran across this in our local newspaper about an incident that occurred in a neighboring suburb:

Now that just seems downright mean.

The joy of telling someone something for the first time

Saying "what kind of an idiot doesn't know about the Yellowstone supervolcano" is so much more boring than telling someone about the Yellowstone supervolcano for the first time.

Yep. This is something I need to work on.

(from xkcd)

Valentine's Day dilemma

(via xkcd)

What a woman's hands say about her

(via Colossal)

Valentine's Day gift idea: Name a roach after that special (or not-so-special) someone

Courtesy of the Bronx Zoo:

Can't decide on what to get that special someone for Valentine's Day? Sometimes the answer is all around us, and right where it's been for millions of years—like cockroaches! How better to express your appreciation for that special someone than to name one of the Bronx Zoo's 58,000 Madagascar hissing cockroach after them? Best of all, when you purchase this unique gift, you'll help support the Wildlife Conservation Society and its five parks in New York City.

Something tells me I wouldn't be able to get away with a gift like this.

Wife-saving technique for husbands

Please help yourself to some old slices of Lemon Harangue Pie while I'm on vacation. Enjoy!

Wife-saving technique for husbands
(originally posted on 02/22/2008)

We've all had basic CPR and first aid training in junior high. But here's a life-saving (or, more accurately, "wife-saving") technique they don't teach you in school.

According to a report in the Daily Mail, a 28-year-old wife and mother was awakened from a two-week coma when her husband gave her "a bloody good rollicking." When he was told by doctors that they may have to switch off his wife's life-support, he started nagging her to wake up, saying later that she "never liked getting told off."

"You start fighting, don't you dare give up on me now," he said. "I've had enough, stop mucking around and start breathing. Come back to me." She started breathing on her own just two hour later, and within five days, her ventilator was able to be shut off.

Husbands everywhere, take note. You should practice this wife-saving technique often. Don't wait until your lovely bride is at death's door. Start practicing today. Sure, she may not understand. She may even get angry. Just explain that you're only thinking of her, and that your harsh words and brusque tone are for her own good.

(By the way, wives, this technique will not work on husbands. For all husbands, comatose or not, the sense of hearing is the first sense to go.)

Happy Valentine's Day!

(via)

What comes after the "happily ever after"...

(via)

"I made you a mix CD because I love you!"

An undeniable truth (1/24/2011)

A wife's lack of interest in her husband can be measured by the length of his ear or nose hair.

Wife-Saving Technique for Husbands

We've all had basic CPR and first aid training in junior high. But here's a life-saving (or, more accurately, "wife-saving") technique they don't teach you in school.

According to a report in the Daily Mail, a 28-year-old wife and mother was awakened from a two-week coma when her husband gave her "a bloody good rollicking." When he was told by doctors that they may have to switch off his wife's life-support, he started nagging her to wake up, saying later that she "never liked getting told off."

"You start fighting, don't you dare give up on me now," he said. "I've had enough, stop mucking around and start breathing. Come back to me." She started breathing on her own just two hour later, and within five days, her ventilator was able to be shut off.

Husbands everywhere, take note. You should practice this wife-saving technique often. Don't wait until your lovely bride is at death's door. Start practicing today. Sure, she may not understand. She may even get angry. Just explain that you're only thinking of her, and that your harsh words and brusque tone are for her own good.

(By the way, wives, this technique will not work on husbands. For all husbands, comatose or not, the sense of hearing is the first sense to go.)

Why Men Are Just Happier People

This has been circulating around the internet a fair amount already, and I don't know the original authorship, but I find it amusing.

Why Men Are Just Happier People

What do you expect from such simple creatures? Your last name stays
put. The garage is all yours. Wedding plans take care of themselves.
Chocolate is just another snack. You can be President. You can never
be pregnant. You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. You can
wear NO shirt to a water park Car mechanics tell you the truth.

The world is your urinal. You never have to drive to another gas
station restroom because this one is just too icky. You don't have to
stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. Same work, more
pay. Wrinkles add character. Graying hair adds attraction. Wedding
dress~$5000. Tux rental~$100. People never stare at your chest when
you're talking to them. The occasional well-rendered belch is
practically expected. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your
feet. One mood all the time. Phone conversations are over in 30
seconds flat. You know stuff about tanks.

A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase. You can open all your
own jars. You get extra credit for the slightest act of
thoughtfulness. If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still
be your friend. Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack. Three pairs
of shoes are more than enough. You almost never have strap problems
in public. You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.

Everything on your face stays its original color. The same hairstyle
lasts for years, maybe decades. You only have to shave your face and
neck. You can play with toys all your life. Your belly usually hides
your big hips. One wallet and one pair of shoes one color for all
seasons. You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look. You can
"do" your nails with a pocket knife. You have freedom of choice
concerning growing a mustache. You can do Christmas shopping for 25
relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.

No wonder men are happier. Send this to the women who can handle it
and to the men who will enjoy reading it.

The strike-through line on the last sentence is my own addition. One thing that makes men unhappy is chain-mail.

Women, Know Your Limits

Honey, I'm Listening...Really

From LiveScience.com:

Moving Your Eyes Improves Memory, Study Suggests

If you're looking for a quick memory fix, move your eyes from side-to-side for 30 seconds, researchers say.

Horizontal eye movements are thought to cause the two hemispheres of the brain to interact more with one another, and communication between brain hemispheres is important for retrieving certain types of memories.

So, you see, Dear, what you consider an exasperated eye roll is really me just utilizing this memory technique so that I don't get into trouble later for not listening.