Vocabulary wheel helps you put your feelings into words

If you can't seem to find the right words to describe how you're feeling, just carry a copy of this in your pocket:

(via LifeHacker)

I think Google is getting smart with me

Actually, it's just Google's way of having a little fun.

Infographic: 15 grammar goofs that make you look silly

(from CopyBlogger)

A hilarious guide to mispronouncing words

The Pronunciation Book is a channel on YouTube that will help you pronounce words correctly. Booooooriiiiiing! Me? I prefer the Pronunciation Manual. Honestly, I don't remember the last time I laughed so hard. Here's a small, side-splitting sampling:














And my personal favorite...


(Kottke)

What American accent do you have?

You may not think you have an accent, but you do. What kind of accent to you have? Click here to take the quiz and find out.

My result:



OK, so I've been out of the South for a while. Still, I refuse to believe I have a Minnesotan accent.

Should language-butchering be outlawed?

While I'm on vacation, please help yourself to some old slices of Lemon Harangue Pie.

Should language-butchering be outlawed?
(originally posted 10/06/2006)

It looks like some government officials in Malaysia must have read my "If I Were in Charge..." article and taken it seriously:

Malaysia to Levy Fines for Poor Speech

Malaysia will levy fines on those incorrectly using the national language, and will set up a specialized division to weed out offenders who mix Malay with English, news reports said Thursday.

Culture, Arts and Heritage Minister Rais Yatim said fines of up to 1,000 ringgit ($271) can be imposed on displays with any wrong or mutated form of Malay, the Star newspaper reported.

The move was to ensure "the national language was not sidelined in any way," Rais said, according to The Star.

Poor speech, bad spelling, and horrible grammar have always been pet peeves of mine. But do we really want linguistic laziness to be against the law? Isn't that going a bit too far?

Hmmmmm...let's see.

I'm now imagining an America where people are fined for saying "reeluhtor" instead of "realtor," "supposably" instead of "supposedly," and for using non-existent words like "irregardless."

I'm also picturing how a law like this could affect (note how I used "affect" instead of "effect") cyberspace. Its (note the correct way to not use an apostrophe) effect (note how I used "effect" instead of "affect") could be positive. Truth be told, I wouldn't mind running across a blogger who actually knew to type "definitely" rather than "definately." It's (note the correct way to use an apostrophe) always good to avoid misspelling (note the correct spelling of "misspelling") words, and following Malaysia's lead might be the answer.

I can see a world in which poorly, constructed run-on sentences, riddled with, unnecessary puctuation!!! SCREAMING AT ME IN ALL CAPITAL LETTERS are replaced with crisp, clean sentences that get right to the point and don't ramble on incessantly without actually saying anything, but just making it seem as if the author is trying to meet some sort of word quota so that it looks like he knows what he's talking about, but in reality is just a pompous, cynical jackass who thinks he's better than everybody else because he has discovered the world of blogging and has nothing better to do with his time than to just sit at his desk and type until he's pulled away from his computer screen by a rerun of Seinfeld that he's already seen 37 times.

Sorry. What was I saying?

Oh, yes: banning desecration of the English language. Now that just might be a totalitarian policy I can get behind!

Stop-motion alphabet video

(via Colossal)

Why is the letter W pronounced "double-u" instead of "double-v"?

It has to do with its function, not its appearance. From The Origins and Development of the English Language, by John Algeo:

The history of the curved and angular forms of u -- that is, u and v -- was similar to that of i and j. Latin consonantal and vocalic u came to represent quite different sounds early in the Christian era, when consonantal u, hitherto pronounced [w], became [v]. Nevertheless, the two forms u and v continued to be used more or less interchangeably for either vowel or consonant. As its name indicates, w was originally a double u, although it was the angular shape v that was actually doubled, a shape we now regard as a different letter.

Stop Saying "Irregardless"!

The 100 Most Beautiful Words in the English Language

Try using words like these the next time you play Scrabble:

• adroit
  
• cynosure
  
• emollient
  
• fugacioius
  
• jejune
  
• mellifluous
  
• pyrrhic
  
• sempiternal

See the entire list, as well as a few bonus words, here.

Barking Up the Right Tree

Scientists with a lot of grant money (and even more time) to waste have developed a computer program that can translate dog barks. Based on their tests they have concluded the program can distinguish between words like "stranger," "fight," "walk," "alone," "ball," and "play."

Good for them. Perhaps this is the first step toward a gadget that translates human language into something even the dumbest dog can understand.

Dawn and I would be first in line to purchase such a device. Of course, I'm still trying to figure out the difference between a dumb dog and a defiant dog.

That's kind of a fine line there.

Well, if anything, at least we now know what that dog was saying at the end of every Family Ties episode...

"Sit, Ubu, sit. Good dog."
"Play!"

It's Called an Oxy, Moron!

Everyone knows what an oxymoron is, right? No, it isn't a really big dumb guy. It's a figure of speech that combines two normally contradictory words.

A classic oxymoron is a term with an inherent contradiction. Examples of this would include "awfully nice," "resident alien," "a fine mess," "new tradition," "virtual reality," or "sweet sorrow."

Over the years, however, the definition of oxymoron has evolved to include terms or phrases that aren't really oxymora at all. That is, they do not necessarily have an inherent contradiction, but are employed mostly for humorous or editorial purposes. Examples of this would be "active retirement," "Great Depression," "politically correct," "honest lawyer," "military intelligence," or even "Thank God I'm an Atheist."

Here are the current top 20 according to OxymoronList.com:

1. Microsoft Works
   
2. Healthy Tan
   
3. Jumbo Shrimp
   
4. Work Party
   
5. Dodge Ram
   
6. Virtual Reality
   
7. Tax Return
   
8. Working Vacation
   
9. Head Butt
   
10. Pretty Ugly
    
11. Peace Force
    
12. Tight Slacks
    
13. Plastic Glasses
    
14. Taped Live
    
15. Same Difference
    
16. Living Dead
    
17. Silent Scream
    
18. Personal Computer
    
19. Alone Together
    
20. Government Organization

Check out the web site and see if you can think of any that didn't make the list.

One of my all-time favorites: "Scandinavian cuisine." But I'll probably save that one for a future post.

Should Language-Butchering Be Outlawed?

It looks like some government officials in Malaysia must have read my "If I Were in Charge..." article and taken it seriously:

Malaysia to Levy Fines for Poor Speech

Malaysia will levy fines on those incorrectly using the national language, and will set up a specialized division to weed out offenders who mix Malay with English, news reports said Thursday.

Culture, Arts and Heritage Minister Rais Yatim said fines of up to 1,000 ringgit ($271) can be imposed on displays with any wrong or mutated form of Malay, the Star newspaper reported.

The move was to ensure "the national language was not sidelined in any way," Rais said, according to The Star.

Poor speech, bad spelling, and horrible grammar have always been pet peeves of mine. But do we really want linguistic laziness to be against the law? Isn't that going a bit too far?

Hmmmmm...let's see.

I'm now imagining an America where people are fined for saying "reeluhtor" instead of "realtor," "supposably" instead of "supposedly," and for using non-existent words like "irregardless."

I'm also picturing how a law like this could affect (note how I used "affect" instead of "effect") cyberspace. Its (note the correct way to not use an apostrophe) effect (note how I used "effect" instead of "affect") could be positive. Truth be told, I wouldn't mind running across a blogger who actually knew to type "definitely" rather than "definately." It's (note the correct way to use an apostrophe) always good to avoid misspelling (note the correct spelling of "misspelling") words, and following Malaysia's lead might be the answer.

I can see a world in which poorly, constructed run-on sentences, riddled with, unnecessary puctuation!!! SCREAMING AT ME IN ALL CAPITAL LETTERS are replaced with crisp, clean sentences that get right to the point and don't ramble on incessantly without actually saying anything, but just making it seem as if the author is trying to meet some sort of word quota so that it looks like he knows what he's talking about, but in reality is just a pompous, cynical jackass who thinks he's better than everybody else because he has discovered the world of blogging and has nothing better to do with his time than to just sit at his desk and type until he's pulled away from his computer screen by a rerun of Seinfeld that he's already seen 37 times.

Sorry. What was I saying?

Oh, yes: banning desecration of the English language. Now that just might be a totalitarian policy I can get behind!