I've been thinking I could use a new coffee table. This one's only $10,000!
GRAND PRIZE WINNER:
When a cat is dropped, it always lands on its feet. And when toast is dropped, it always lands with the buttered side facing down. I propose to strap buttered toast to the back of a cat; the two will hover, spinning inches above the ground. With a giant buttered cat array, a high-speed monorail could easily link New York with Chicago.
If an infinite number of rednecks riding in an infinite number of pickup trucks fire an infinite number of shotgun rounds at an infinite number of highway signs, they will eventually produce all the world's great literary works in Braille.
Why yawning is contagious: You yawn to equalize the pressure on your eardrums. This pressure change outside your eardrums unbalances other people's ear pressures, so they must yawn to even it out.
Communist China is technologically underdeveloped because they have no alphabet and therefore cannot use acronyms to communicate ideas at a faster rate.
The earth may spin faster on its axis due to deforestation. Just as a figure skater's rate of spin increases when the arms are brought in close to the body, the cutting of tall trees may cause our planet to spin dangerously fast.
The quantity of consonants in the English language is constant. If omitted in one place, they turn up in another. When a Bostonian "pahks" his "cah," the lost r's migrate southwest, causing a Texan to "warsh" his car and invest in "erl wells."
Birds take off at sunrise. On the opposite side of the world, they are landing at sunset. This causes the earth to spin on its axis.
Bubonic Plague Killing Squirrels In DenverIt seems these vermin are also recruiting other species.
Denver, CO (AHN) - Residents of Denver, Colorado are being warned that a spate of squirrel deaths is being caused by "Black Death" the common name for Bubonic Plague, which killed millions of people in the 14th Century. So far, no humans have been infected. However, the plague is inside one of the city's most popular parks, the site of youth soccer games and a place people go to walk their dogs and picnic.
Plague bacteria are carried by fleas that get on squirrels, rodents, pets and people and spread the disease by biting. This bout has killed 13 squirrels found in or near City Park, and two squirrels and a rabbit found in Denver suburbs.