Inconceivable one-star reviews of 'The Princess Bride'

I never understood how The Princess Bride, one of the best movies ever made, could wind up with a rating of only 8.2 on IMDB. It even has several one-star reviews. I can only surmise that these people were mostly dead when watching it.

Here are several excerpts, bad spelling and all:

Sexist pile of garbage - posted by mthessian

Hated the Princess Bride. It is a sexist pile of garbage.

Terrible - posted by markb80

Not remotely funny, at least not intentionally. The only part that had me and my g/f laughing was the part where they encounter the rats. They looked so bad it was amusing.

It brought a smile to my face....WHEN THE CREDITS BEGAN TO ROLL!!! - posted by batpickle

Can anyone explain to me anything about this movie that is mildly amusing, Wallace Shawn is so annoying, the dialog is replete with stinkyocity and the story is so simplistic a baby would be bored! Now there is nothing offensive about the movie but I will bet you my kids would hate this but I may never know because I can't bare sitting through it again.

My six year old puts on better shows than this in the back yard. - posted by helgabono

Scores highly on the sphincter clencher scale. I was also surprised that Peter Falk would lend his talent to a production of this caliber. Maybe he was in need of money, who knows. Anyway, a waste of my money (I was foolish enough to buy the DVD) and of my time.

A Load of Puke Bile - posted by britishdame7001

This movie is nothing but a load of boring, contrived, clichéd, CRAP!! No originality whatsoever. AND don't get me started on the acting!!!! This has to be the worst acting I've seen in my life....totally laughable and amateurish to say the least.

a blend of blandness and bloodiness - posted by buliabyak

It's outright disgusting. The torture scene alone is enough to get this movie banned from my family video library. It's so senselessly, meaninglessly cruel that I couldn't watch it myself, let alone show to my kids. The sick obsession with bloody vengeance ("Prepare to die! Prepare to die! Prepare to die! Prepare to die!" ad infinitum) is immoral almost to the point of absurdity.

Inconceivable! I can't believe I just used that joke. - posted by Saphire Alcehmy

This film fails as a fantasy by being predictable, fails as a comedy by not being funny, has awful effects, and boring, uninteresting characters. They're all flat, I knew nothing about them at the end of the film beyond 'He's really tall, they're in love, he's a idiot and he's Spanish and wants to avenge his father.'

Completely overrated rubbish - posted by TheConsigliere

I felt it was utter trash. There was very little I could say was even mildly amusing here...Much of Andre's (The Giant) lines were about as effective as he would have been if he'd tried to play a slim, short, well-spoken Englishman

Send in the brute squad! Such people deserve to be thrown into the Pit of Despair!

'Dollar' store

You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means...

(via Reddit)

Former cop shows you the quickest way to get yourself killed during a home invasion

According to former New York police detective Wallace Zeins, in a recent report on NBC's Today, all you need is a set of car keys and a can of hornet spray:


I don't know Mr. Zeins, but I'm willing to bet he keeps something a bit more intimidating that a can of Raid next to his bed.

DIY trashcan tornado shelter

This is a follow-up to yesterday's post. I really don't know what to think of this. Part of me thinks it's an ingenious idea, but part of me thinks it's the most ridiculous thing I've ever seen. You be the judge:


(via The Tea Party Economist)

SHCOOL X-NG

I'm guessing the members of the New York City road crew responsible for this attended pulbic shcool.

138 Stanton Street, New York City

(via Google Sightseeing)

Sales training video from the "I can't believe this hasn't gone viral" file

The folks at the Once in a Blue Moose souvenir shop in Anchorage really take their business seriously:


(via Dave Barry's Blog)

Sushi-scented cologne

It is the mission of the Demeter Fragrance Library to explore and expand the use of fragrances we experience in everyday life. I guess that explains this:

Not what you think it would smell like! Demeter's Sushi is the fresh scent of just cooked sticky rice and straight from the seaside seaweed, laced with hints of ginger and lemon essences. Simply delectable... after all, if it smelled like fish, would you wear it?

Actually, after looking at some of the other fragrances offered -- including classic scents like Black Pepper, Glue, Fireplace, Earthworm, and Humidor -- I'm tempted to check them out.

Remote device allows users to kiss from a distance

Really? This is what scientists are working on these days?

A new messaging device, dubbed Kissenger, lets users send kisses wirelessly to one another. Unveiled at the Designing Interactive Systems conference in Newcastle, UK, in June, Kissenger comprises a pair of pressure-sensitive soft plastic lips which protrude through a smooth plastic casing the size of a large Easter egg.

The lips contain pressure sensors and actuators. When you kiss them, the shape changes you create are transmitted in real time over the net to a receiving Kissenger. There, the actuators reproduce the mirror image of the pressure patterns you created – magically transmitting your smacker to your partner.

I have no words.

Chicken McNugget shaped like Secretariat for sale on eBay

Well...it sort of resembles something that may have come from Secretariat...

But it's from a top-rated seller, so it must be legit. Place your bid now!

(via Dave Barry's Blog)

Fashion designer makes shoes out of horses' hooves

German designer Iris Schieferstein on her bizarre creations that mix taxidermy and fashion:

"I love horses and I love shoes so I thought this would be perfect. Horses have a beautiful walk and I wanted to recreate that with my footwear.

"Creating the shoes is ugly work, taking the meat out is not nice, like any taxidermy. When I began working with dead animals I would pick them up from the street.

"But they are protected by the government in Germany, and so after ten years they tried to put me in prison. Now I use my butcher.

"Once the shoes are made I wear them to make sure they work, although they would not be suitable to wear around the house."

Are there really that many people out there wanting to look like fauns or centaurs to create a market for this?

(via Dave Barry's Blog)

"The Monsters Are Due on Westhampton View Court"

The strange occurrences on a cul-de-sac in St. Charles, Missouri, sound like something straight out of an episode of The Twilight Zone (hence the title of this post). STLToday.com reports:

Westhampton View residents started noticing problems getting in and out of their garages on Dec. 26 and 27, and the situation got progressively worse.

They went through the usual trouble-shooting steps of changing the batteries and rebooting their systems. All but one have Liftmasters. Some called the manufacturer. Nothing worked.

First, Kathy Hoechstenbach's double garage door wouldn't work, but the single one would. Then the single door would work only if they got really close to the door with the remote. Soon it wouldn't work at all.

Joe Sullivan's doors have the same problem.

"It's a weird, weird thing," Sullivan said. "And the timing for it all to go haywire for everybody at the same time can't be coincidence, right?"

Hmmmm...

Chicken wing...cupcakes?

Yes. Chicken wing cupcakes.

This unique creation is being offered by a bakery in Colonie, New York. It's a cornbread cupcake slathered in blue cheese frosting, topped off with a chicken wing.

But do people like them? Oh, yeah. They're a hit.

Mailman who pooped on lawn resumes same route

It's bad enough cleaning up after your dogs. You don't want to have to worry about your mailman.

A mail carrier in Portland, Oregon, was photographed defecating in the yard of a home on his delivery route last April. He's back on the job and back on his old route.


Really? You're a mailman. You can't make it to your truck and use a bag, a box, or an envelope or something? You have to use someone's yard?

The only explanation I can think of as to why this guy kept his job is that he must have claimed to have a medical condition, thereby preventing his termination under federal employment regulations. What I can't figure out is why in the world he would want to show his face in the same neighborhood again.

There's a fly in my urinal

Please help yourself to some old slices of Lemon Harangue Pie while I'm on vacation. Enjoy!

There's a fly in my urinal
(originally posted 04/29/2008)

If you visit the Amsterdam Airport Schiphol, and if you're a guy (or maybe that doesn't even matter -- I mean, it is Amsterdam after all), you may notice a fly in each of the urinals in the bathroom. Yes, in the urinals. These "targets" are etched into the porcelain in an effort to improve aim and prevent excess spillage.

Richard H. Thaler and Cass R. Sunstein of The New Republic address this important issue:

As all women who have ever shared a toilet with a man can attest, men can be especially spacey when it comes to their, er, aim. In the privacy of a home, that may be a mere annoyance. But, in a busy airport restroom used by throngs of travelers each day, the unpleasant effects of bad aim can add up rather quickly. Enter an ingenious economist who worked for Schiphol International Airport in Amsterdam. His idea was to etch an image of a black house fly onto the bowls of the airport's urinals, just to the left of the drain. The result: Spillage declined 80 percent. It turns out that, if you give men a target, they can't help but aim at it. In the grand sweep of global affairs, dirty bathrooms may be a relatively minor problem. But, by placing fly images on its urinals, the Amsterdam airport was using a technique with broad applications in the world of business and even politics. We call that technique "choice architecture." A choice architect is anyone who influences the context in which people choose -- say, by deciding what order to put menu items in, or what path to encourage shoppers to take through a supermarket, or what information to give investors about their retirement savings options, or what to tell patients deciding how to deal with a medical problem. Because seemingly tiny changes in the environment can influence behavior, choice architects wield immense power. Theirs is a gentle power, since they merely nudge rather than coerce. But their nudges can have major effects.

Some men may need more than a nudge, but this certainly is a start.

All in the family

Please help yourself to some old slices of Lemon Harangue Pie while I'm on vacation. Enjoy!

All in the family
(originally posted 01/11/2008)

File this in the "Unbelievable but True" category:

Twins separated at birth have married each other without realizing they were brother and sister, it has been revealed.

The British couple's marriage has now been annulled by the High Court after judges ruled the marriage had never validly existed.

The identities of the brother and sister and details of how they fell in love and married are being kept secret. Soon after they were born they were separated and adopted by different families.

You've probably noticed that when a couple has been married a long time they start to look like each other. If, however, they look like each other right off the bat...well...that should probably raise a red flag.

The craziest sport in the world?

Most sports are pretty crazy when you think about them, but Bo-Taoshi has to be one of the craziest. It can be found in (where else?) Japan.


The game is played predominantly by military cadets, and is essentially a version of capture-the-flag or king-of-the-hill. Two teams push, punch, and kick each other for control of a large wooden pole. And that's pretty much all there is to it.

Each team is split into two groups of 75 defenders and 75 attackers. The defenders gather around their own pole, while the attackers launch an assault against the opposing team's pole. The first team to pull the pole of the opposing team down to an angle of at least 30 degrees wins.

Somehow I doubt this will catch on in the U.S.



(via Oddity Central)

Guy in a kilt playing the Star Wars theme on the bagpipes...while riding a unicycle

(via Now That's Nifty)

Common household items you can eat to stay alive

When the dollar collapses and food riots erupt across America, or when some military bio-weapons research facility unleashes the virus that ushers in the zombie apocalypse, chances are you'll be caught off-guard, too frightened to leave your home. The mac and cheese and Twinkies are bound to run out sooner or later, but you can still stave off starvation using common items lying around your house. Here are a few of the more edible options according to SurvivalFood.net:

• Pet food - As if that wasn't obvious.
  
• Food waste - Apple cores, potato skins, and whatever else you can find in the garbage.
  
• Leather - Deep-frying is recommended. (Duh.)
  
• Oven grease - Tastes almost as good as it sounds.

Click here for more mouth-watering ideas...if you have the stomach.

Confucius say...

Wait...what?

Ashes to...bullets?

Holy Smoke is a company that offers a rather unique service: turning human ashes turned into live ammunition. That way, you can "take your loved one on one more hunt or one more round of clays."

It's understandable that the thought of turning the dearly departed into a deadly weapon may make you feel a little uncomfortable, but the folks at Holy Smoke want to reassure you:

None of the ash will have any effect on rifling, the propellant, or the firearm. All ash is placed in the shot cup or in the bullet for rifles and pistols. All shotshells and bullets will be sealed and boxed with reverance and care.

You can even make arrangements for yourself ahead of time. Sure, it may be a bit unorthodox, but you gotta love their reasoning: "Now, you can continue to protect your home and family even after you are gone." Can you think of a better gift to give your family?

(If bullets aren't to your liking, there are many other ways - from hour glasses to snow globes - to "honor" a loved one's memory.)