Father of the Year: Dad turns down son's music with shotgun

Yuba County resident Stanislaw Grzegorz Jarmolowicz had told his son several times to turn down his stereo, but did his son listen? Of course not. So, Jarmolowicz did what any normal, red-blooded, American father would do in that situation: he blew out the speakers with a shotgun.

Arrested on "suspicion of shooting at or into a building," he was booked in the Yuba County Jail on Monday. However, since he made sure his son moved out of the way before firing, and since his son wasn't fearful of being shot, Jarmolowicz was released on Wednesday without any charges being filed.

The police report didn't say what music was playing, nor did it mention whether the speakers went up to 11 or only 10.

Police officer pepper-sprays a baby squirrel

Students at Kimbrough Middle School in Mesquite, Texas, were traumatized when a local police officer seasoned a baby squirrel with pepper spray. But, as anyone can clearly see in the following video, it was an act of self-defense:



The hamster-sized, furry-tailed devil had been chasing after students, which prompted some brave, quick-thinking school official to call animal control for help. Sadly, the squirrel survived. It was captured, treated, and released back into the wild.

I would love to consider Officer Davis a hero, but pepper spray? Really? A situation like this is exactly why the department issued you a gun.

"Vintage" ads for Skype, YouTube, and Facebook

(via Brand Republic)

"Vintage" Apple ads

(via Geek Sugar)

"Dead Poets Society": Where are they now?

The New York Daily News fills us in.

One reason why we can't convert to the metric system

(via GoComics.com)

Praise the lard!

Lard used to be demonized, but, as Slate's Regina Schrambling writes:

That's all changed. Now you could even argue that lard is good for you. As Jennifer McLagan points out in her celebrated book Fat: An Appreciation of a Misunderstood Ingredient, With Recipes, lard's fat is also mostly monounsaturated, which is healthier than saturated fat. And even the saturated fat in lard has a neutral effect on blood cholesterol. Not to mention that lard has a higher smoking point than other fats, allowing foods like chicken to absorb less grease when fried in it. And, of course, fat in general has its upsides. The body converts it to fuel, and it helps absorb nutrients, particularly calcium and vitamins.

What matters more, though, is that lard has become the right ingredient at the right time. It fits perfectly into the Michael Pollan crusade to promote foods that have been processed as minimally as possible: Your great-grandmother surely cooked with it, so you should, too.

Add to that the new awareness that what you eat matters environmentally—if you are going to eat an animal on a planet at risk from too many humans raising too many animals to eat, you have to eat the whole thing. Lard is just about the last stop before the squeal when pork producers are extracting every savory bit from a pig.

Toshiba's 3D monocle, and other April Fools' Day pranks

Everyone loves a good April Fools' Day prank. This is especially true of companies with a wide internet presence. Come April 1st there is no shortage of pictures, videos, and web site "tweaks" to alleviate the monotonous scenery to which one has grown accustomed while cruising along the Information Super Highway.

Here is a sampling of this year's pranks.

Toshiba: 3D Monocle


IKEA: The Hundstol, a high chair for dogs


Google: Gmail Motion


Google: Search result for "helvetica"

ThinkGeek.com: New line of fake products, including Angry Birds Pork Rinds...

...the Playmobil Apple Store Playset...

...and Star Wars Lightsaber Popcicles

Whole Foods: Insects raised with compassion

Check out these and other pranks here.

When cows attack

You will never see Cow Week on the Discovery Channel, but statistically you're more likely to be killed by a cow than a shark. From Popular Mechanics:

Between 2003 and 2008, 108 people died from cattle-induced injuries across the United States, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. That's 27 times the whopping four people killed in shark attacks in the United States during the same time period, according to the International Shark Attack File. Nearly all those cow-related fatalities were caused by blunt force trauma to the head or chest; a third of the victims were working in enclosed spaces with cattle.

While the ongoing battle between cow and man is overwhelmingly one-sided (and delicious), the people who work closely with cattle take major risks. "I've been kicked, I've been pushed, I've been charged," says 22-year-old Margaret Dunn, a graduate research assistant studying animal science at Iowa State University. "Like what they say about dogs, they can smell fear." Once, while she was attempting to inoculate a newborn calf as its mother stood nearby, another cow came out of nowhere and knocked her over. Dunn has survived these assaults, and they have not dissuaded her from planning to acquire her own dairy cows someday. The dangers of a farm are just "an occupational hazard," she says.

Have you hugged your dairy farmer today?

A great book about practical jokes

H. Allen Smith

About 14 years ago my wife and I stayed at a quaint, old house in Duluth, Minnesota. While we were there I perused the numerous books that lined the shelves in our room. One in particular caught my eye. It was entitled The Compleat Practical Joker, by H. Allen Smith. It discussed the history of practical jokes and highlighted some of the all-time classics. I was laughing non-stop from the moment I opened its pages. I was determined to pick up a copy when we left, but the book was originally published in 1953 and was no longer in print, and I couldn't find it anywhere.

Years went by, and memory of the book began to fade into obscurity. Thankfully, I was reminded of it recently and decided to Google it to see if I could track it down. And what do you know? There was a used copy on eBay. At long last, the coveted tome was mine!

So, to celebrate my recent purchase, and in honor of April Fools' Day, I thought I would share with you a delightful passage from this hilarious book:

The most celebrated of all British practical jokers was William Horace De Vere Cole, whose career will be considered in later pages. He was a citizen of substance and had a large house in a fashionable section of London. One day he was hanging some paintings in his home when he ran out of twine. He put on his hat and walked to the nearest stringmonger's shop and bought a ball of twine. One his way home he saw an elegant Englishman, a stranger, approaching. The man was so stiffish, so splendidly dressed, that Cole could not pass him by. Quickly he whipped out his ball of twine and stepped up to the gentleman.

"I say," he spoke with some show of deference, "I'm in a bit of a spot. We're engaged in surveying this area in order that we may realign the kerb, and my assistant has somehow vanished. I wonder if I could prevail upon your time for just a few moments."

"To be sure," said the stranger, ever the proper Englishman.

"If," said Cole, "you'd be so kind as to hold the end of this string. Just stand where you are, and keep a tight hold on it, and we'll be finished in a few moments. It's really quite important."

The splendid gentleman took hold of the end of the string and Cole began backing away from him, unwinding the ball. He continued all the way to the corner, turned the corner and disappeared. He proceeded, still unwinding the ball, until he was halfway up the block, at which point the string gave out. He stood for a moment, not knowing quite what he should do now. He had about decided to tie the string to a doorknob when Providence sent him a second gentleman, fully as elegant and polished as the first. Cole stopped him. Would the good sir be so kind as to assist him in an engineering project? Certainly! Cole handed him the end of the string and asked that he simply stand firm and hold it. Then Cole disappeared through an alleyway, hastened to the shop for another ball of twine, and returned to his home to resume hanging pictures.

Cole never knew how long those men stood holding the string. He could have circled back and spied on them, but he didn't even consider doing it. The more accomplished practical jokers seem to prefer a situation in which the denouement is left to their imaginations. They enjoy sitting down and thinking about what may have happened.

The book is full of such stories. If you enjoy a good laugh, see if you can find yourself a copy.