Change We Can Believe In

(HT: Chris Knight)

Fireman Accidentally Inhales Kitten

Currently making its way around the World Wide Web:

The story, whether true or not, is at least 15 years old. It was included in Jay Leno's Police Blotter, published in 1994.

Pride and Extreme Prejudice

Filmmakers have been butchering literary classics for the last century, so this latest assault on Jane Austen should come as no surprise. Consider the following movies currently in the works:

Pride and Predator
Oh, yes. That Predator. This film "veers from the traditional period costume drama when an alien crash lands and begins to butcher the mannered protags, who suddenly have more than marriage and inheritance to worry about."

Pride and Prejudice and Zombies
The book, which is set to be made into a movie courtesy of Natalie Portman, "features the original text of Jane Austen's beloved novel with all-new scenes of bone-crunching zombie action. As our story opens, a mysterious plague has fallen upon the quiet English village of Meryton -- and the dead are returning to life! Feisty heroine Elizabeth Bennet is determined to wipe out the zombie menace, but she's soon distracted by the arrival of the haughty and arrogant Mr. Darcy. What ensues is a delightful comedy of manners with plenty of civilized sparring between the two young lovers -- and even more violent sparring on the blood-soaked battlefield as Elizabeth wages war against hordes of flesh-eating undead."

Methinks Hollywood has officially run out of ideas.

(HT: the inimitable Chris Knight)

Hairing Aid

According to Guinness, Radhakant Baijpai has the world's longest ear hair:

Considered by Mr. Baijpai, 58, to be symbol of luck and prosperity, his ear-hair has been growing since he was 18 and more importantly has never been cut.

Maintained by a specially prepared blend of herbal shampoo, Mr. Baijpai has so far resisted the pleas of his long suffering wife to cut it off.

"She has always been asking me to cut my ear-hair, but since the official record was confirmed by Guinness, she has allowed me to keep it because it is a source of pride to me," says Mr. Baijpai a resident of the northern Indian state of Uttar Pradesh.

Fortunately, I'm married to someone who maintains a constant vigil on my ear (and nose) hair. Thanks, Honey!

Zombie/Raptor Holocaust: Fact or Fiction?

As if rush hour traffic wasn't chaotic enough. From the AP:

Pranksters in at least three states are messing with electronic road signs meant to warn motorists of possible traffic problems by putting drivers on notice about Nazi zombies and raptors. And highway safety officials aren't amused.

The latest breach came Tuesday during the morning rush hour near Collinsville, Ill., where hackers changed a sign along southbound Interstate 255 to read, "DAILY LANE CLOSURES DUE TO ZOMBIES."

A day earlier in Indiana's Hamilton County, the electronic message on a board in Carmel's construction zone warned drivers of "RAPTORS AHEAD — CAUTION."

And signs in Austin, Texas, recently flashed: "NAZI ZOMBIES! RUN!!!" and "ZOMBIES IN AREA! RUN."

Officials in Illinois are concerned the rewritten signs distract motorists from heeding legitimate hazards down the road. The hacked sign on Tuesday originally warned drivers of crews replacing guardrails.

"We understood it was a hoax, but at the same time those boards are there for a reason," said Joe Gasaway, an Illinois Department of Transportation supervisory field engineer. "We don't want (drivers) being distracted by a funny sign."

Hmmmmm. The government seems to be rather quick in dismissing this as a hoax. If you happen to live in Illinois, Indiana, or Texas, I'd keep an eye out...just in case.

D'oh! A Deer! A Baby Deer!

Accidents happen on America's roadways, even to Google's Street View camera cars. Like this one, which happened to hit a baby deer:

Don't bother trying to find the picture. They took it down.

The Google Earth and Maps team responded to the incident:

Gathering the imagery for Street View requires quite a bit of driving; as such, we take safety very seriously. Unfortunately, accidents do happen -- as some people have noticed, one of our Street View cars hit a deer while driving on a rural road in upstate New York. Due to several user requests using the "Report a concern" tool, these images are no longer available in Street View.

The driver was understandably upset, and promptly stopped to alert the local police and the Street View team at Google. The deer was able to move and had left the area by the time the police arrived. The police explained to our driver that, sadly, this was not an uncommon occurrence in the region -- the New York State Department of Transportation estimates that 60,000-70,000 deer collisions happen per year in New York alone -- and no police report needed to be filed.

Be careful out there, people. Deer are becoming almost as much of a nuisance as squirrels.

There's One in Every Bunch

Come on. We all knew it was only a matter of time:

Many U.S. Airways passengers who endured a crash landing in the Hudson River 12 days ago say they appreciate the $5,000 that the airline has offered — but some say it's not enough.

Joe Hart, a salesman from Charlotte who suffered a bloody nose and bruises, says he "would like to be made whole for the incident."

It's too soon after the accident to determine what emotional distress he has suffered, he says.

He's one of 150 passengers who were dramatically rescued Jan. 15, when the Charlotte-bound Airbus A320 jet safely ditched into the frigid river off Midtown Manhattan. A pilot on the plane told air-traffic controllers that birds struck the plane before both engines failed after takeoff from New York's LaGuardia Airport.

After the crash, U.S. Airways sent passengers a letter of apology, a $5,000 check to assist "with immediate needs" and reimbursement for the ticket. ...

... Kreindler & Kreindler, a New York law firm that has represented plaintiffs in crashes, says it has been contacted by several passengers on the U.S. Airways flight.

The firm's lawyers are determining what injuries and emotional distress passengers may have suffered, and what parties might be liable under New York state law, says Noah Kushlefsky, a partner in the firm.

The crash, however, wasn't traumatic enough to stop Joe Hart from flying. He's already flown on six planes since the accident.

I'm not a cold-hearted person, so why am I having trouble mustering up sympathy for this guy?

Man Finally Solves Rubik's Cube...

...after over a quarter of a century.

From the Telegraph:

Puzzle fan Graham Parker has finally solved his Rubik's Cube - after 26 years' worth of attempts.

Delighted Graham, 45, from Portchester, Hants, has been tirelessly trying to solve the riddle of the Cube since he bought the toy in 1983.

Married dad-of-one Graham has endured endless sleepless nights and after more than 27,400 hours he finally managed to conquer his personal Everest.

Builder Graham said: "I cannot tell you what a relief it was to finally solve it. It has driven me mad over the years - it felt like it had taken over my life.

"I have missed important events to stay in and solve it and I would lay awake at night thinking about it.

"Friends have offered to solve it for me and I know that you can find solutions on the web but I just had to do it myself.

"I have had wrist and back problems from spending hours on it but it was all worth it.

"When I clicked that last bit into place and each face was a solid colour I wept."

Long-suffering wife Jean, 47, said the cube has frequently put a strain on their marriage, causing blazing rows between the pair.

Jean even admits at times it has felt as though there has been three people in their marriage for the past 26 years.

Sure, the record for solving the puzzle is 7.08 seconds, but Mr. Parker has done something I've never been able to do. Kudos, sir!

Google Doesn't Stop for Hitchhikers

And we're not just talking about the Information Superhighway. Check it out here.

Squirrel Roundup (January 20, 2009)

Squirrels are good for something after all
One man has been making money off his water-skiing squirrels for over 27 years. (More...)

Squirrels killed by speeders
Rather than being hailed as heroes, squirrel-squishing motorists in England are being condemned. (More...)

Tastes like...squirrel
In an unrelated story, squirrel meat is becoming increasingly popular in the U.K. (More...)

Squirrel whisperer
While some people eat squirrels, others allow squirrels to eat them out of house and home. (More...)

Keep squirrels off your bird feeders
Readers of The Augusta Chronicle share their ideas. (More...)

Keep squirrels out of your attic
If you don't have the guts to do what needs to be done, I suppose "humane" traps can be used. (More...)

Should feeding squirrels be against the law?
No. Even though it's a bad idea. As much as I dislike squirrels, I dislike the government even more. (More...)

Squirrel day
North Elementary School in Mountain Home, Idaho, was closed because of a power outage believed to have been caused by a squirrel. (More...)