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Tuesday, February 09, 2016

Squirrel Roundup (February 9, 2016)

It's been too long since I've done a Squirrel Roundup. Better late than never, I guess...

(Image source: FunnyJunk)

Terrorist squirrel leaves thousands without power
The people of Tulsa are on alert after a terrorist squirrel attacked a power substation that left 5,500 people without electricity:
"We put all kinds of animal guards on our equipment that occasionally these critters find a way to circumvent," Public Service Oklahoma spokesperson Ed Bettinger told Tulsa World.

The squirrel reportedly "touched the wrong thing" and Bettinger suspects that the squirrel was likely left "beyond charred" in the accident.
This kind of thing is a lot more common than you can imagine. In fact, there's an entire web site devoted to documenting just such attacks. Check it out at

Warning issued after spate of squirrel attacks
Park visitors in Dorset, England, are being attacked by gangs of vicious squirrels:
The Nothe Gardens in Weymouth have seen a number of incidents of squirrels apprently "ganging up" on passers-by and even chasing people along the path - according to local reports.

Several people say they have been bitten after sitting down on a park bench.

One man has told how a squirrel sank its teeth into his finger.
And England still won't relax its gun-control laws.

Woman facing jail time for harboring squirrels
A New Jersey woman is in trouble with the law for taking in two orphaned tree rats:
Maria Vaccarella of Howell said she was only trying to help one squirrel, and then it surprised her and gave birth to two baby squirrels.

"We left the babies in the cage outside for 24 hours. (The mother) never came back. I brought them in, kept them warm, bottle fed them," Vaccarella said.

She said there's no way the baby squirrels could have survived without their mother.

Vaccarella reached out to registered wildlife rehabilitators. When they could not take the squirrels in, she became their foster mom.

She was subsequently slapped with a hefty fine and is now facing up to six months in jail for keeping dangerous animals without a permit. A pretty light sentence for harboring terrorists, if you ask me.*

*Please note this is all in good fun. I despise this kind of tyrannical government overreach and side 100% with Ms. Vaccarella.

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