Squirrel Roundup (July 9, 2014)

It's been a while since I've done a Squirrel Roundup, so sit back and enjoy...

Squirrels sabotage Portland power grid
BREAKING NEWS: Squirrels are responsible for a rash of terrorist attacks in suburban Portland:

When the power goes out on a hot day, most people assume overuse of air conditioning is to blame.

But from June 12 through July 7, four substation outages in Portland's westside suburbs and in North Portland were caused by adorably nimble, fluffy-tailed and overly adventurous squirrels.

All four outages were in PGE territory and one — the Oak Hills substation at Northwest Cornell Road and Twin Oaks Drive in Beaverton — was hit twice. (By different squirrels, of course.)

"This is clearly an unusual convergence of squirrel activity," said Steve Corson, spokesman for PGE. "We'd like to have a break from squirrels for awhile."

Wouldn't we all?

Meanwhile, in Indiana...
Another attack:

An Indiana Michigan Power spokesman says a squirrel got into a substation in Elkhart County and knocked out power to more than 4,000 customers.

Beware blood-thirsty ground squirrels in Borneo
Just be thankful we don't have to deal with vampire squirrels here in America:

Local legends suggest that Rheithrosciurus, which is thought to mostly eat giant acorns, can be savage. Hunters say that the squirrels will perch on low branches, jump onto a deer, gash its jugular vein, and disembowel the carcass.

Um...yeah. Good luck with all that.

Squirrel terrorist training camp
It seems squirrel terrorists are getting a little help in their training from human collaborators:


Sad news from California
Thanks to the hippie cowards running the city of Berkeley, problem squirrels will escape extermination:

Berkeley's squirrels can relax: The city is not going to gas them to death.

After months of deliberation by a specially convened squirrel subcommittee, the city staff has decided that the best way to control the chubby rodents is to stop feeding them.

The City Council unanimously approved a new city law Tuesday night that criminalizes the feeding of wildlife in city parks. Those caught throwing peanuts or breadcrumbs to squirrels, gophers or other critters could face a $1,000 fine, six months in jail or both.

Sure. Punish the humans.

Button football championship coincides with World Cup

Have you ever heard of button football? Neither had I, but it's apparently pretty popular. It even has its own World Cup of sorts:


So where were ESPN's cameras during all the excitement?

Star Wars trailer (Guardians of the Galaxy style)

One clever YouTuber has created a new trailer for the original Star Wars trilogy in the style of Marvel's Guardians of the Galaxy. Cool stuff!


(via Gizmodo)

Around the world in 360° degrees

Filmed in 36 countries over three years, this is the ultimate selfie:


Discover more at ModernMotoDiaries.com.

Nike soccer ad plays like a Pixar film

Sure, it's a Nike ad, but this would make a great Pixar film:


(via For the W!n)

Welcome to the second grade. Here's your bulletproof blanket.

Here's something you parents can look for in the near future at Target's back-to-school sale:


From the Bodyguard Blanket web site:

Bodyguard™ blanket was developed and tested to specifically protect our children and teachers in the event of a school shooting. Bodyguard™ blanket is designed to be bullet resistant. It is made of the same materials our U.S. soldiers wear while in battle, and is equal to or exceeds the protection used by our police departments. After extensive research, it is estimated that Bodyguard™ blanket provides bullet resistant protection against 90% of all weapons that have been used in school shootings in the United States. We are so confident in the protective properties of Bodyguard™blanket we are encouraging every administrator to make it an integral part of school and university lockdown protocol.

I'm sorry, but if things are so bad that your kids need access to bulletproof blankets at school, perhaps it's time to rethink your education options.

(via BenSwann.com)

An innovative way to shave your head

Inventor Todd Greene talks about how he came up with the idea for the HeadBlade in 1997:


But I seem to recall Bugs Bunny using something similar in "The Rabbit of Seville," nearly 50 years before Mr. Greene invented the HeadBlade...

(via Ironic Sans)

The "short suit" is about to go mainstream

Head up, America. Retailers like J. Crew and Topman are trying to push the short suit into the men's fashion mainstream.

Imagine showing up to a business meeting dressed like this:

I was skeptical at first, but then I thought, is it really all that different from a kilt?

Maybe it could work. After all, AC/DC's Angus Young has been rocking that look for nearly 40 years.

(via Business Insider)

11-year-old wins 7th annual Doodle 4 Google competition

11-year-old Audrey Zhang of Long Island won the 2014 Doodle 4 Google competition with her drawing of a futuristic water purifier.

The folks at Google helped Audrey turn her doodle into a moving animation. She was rewarded with a $30,000 college scholarship and a $50,000 grant for her school.

Read more here.

What can devour a 9-foot great white shark?

I have good news and bad news. The good news is that something in the ocean is eating great white sharks. The bad news is that there is something in the ocean big enough to eat a great white shark.

Eleven years ago, a film crew was tagging sharks to study their movements along the Australian coast. One tracking device from a nine-foot great white washed up on shore four months later, and the data it contained was disturbing.

The data indicated that the shark suddenly plunged over 1,900 feet early one morning. The temperature then shot up from 46° F to 78° F, something that could only have happened if the shark had been swallowed by...something.

From the Smithsonian Channel: