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Sunday, January 03, 2010

Tree-Hating Squirrels Invade Clemson University

Clemson University has declared war on gray squirrels, spending the month of December trapping and euthanizing the evil rodents which have been responsible for killing about 100 mature trees by chewing on the bark for food and making their territory. Around 10 percent of the trees on campus have been damaged, costing the university approximately $1 million over the last 10 years.

It is estimated that Clemson has two to three times the normal population of squirrels per acre. A birth control program (no doubt involving sex education classes and the distribution of free condoms) didn't work, so university officials were forced to employ more drastic measures.

While I wish the folks at Clemson luck in their fight, I can't help but think that they brought this on themselves. As we all know, universities are notorious hotbeds for political correctness. I'm sure the school's stance on violence prevention helped drive out the squirrels' natural predators, and it's "green policies" most likely encouraged students and faculty to welcome the cute and cuddly invaders with open arms.

It's nice to see them finally waking up to reality.

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