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Friday, July 25, 2008

A Conspiracy Theorist's Dilemma

We finally have eyewitness testimony that the U.S. government has been covering up evidence of extraterrestrials! From the Daily Telegraph:
    Former NASA astronaut and moon-walker Dr. Edgar Mitchell -- a veteran of the Apollo 14 mission -- has stunningly claimed aliens exist.

    And he says extra-terrestrials have visited Earth on several occasions -- but the alien contact has been repeatedly covered up by governments for six decades.

    Dr. Mitchell, 77, said during a radio interview that sources at the space agency who had had contact with aliens described the beings as 'little people who look strange to us.'

    He said supposedly real-life ET's were similar to the traditional image of a small frame, large eyes and head.

    Chillingly, he claimed our technology is "not nearly as sophisticated" as theirs and "had they been hostile", he warned "we would be been gone by now".

    Dr. Mitchell, along with with Apollo 14 commander Alan Shepard, holds the record for the longest ever moon walk, at nine hours and 17 minutes following their 1971 mission.

    "I happen to have been privileged enough to be in on the fact that we've been visited on this planet and the UFO phenomena is real," Dr. Mitchell said.
Wait a minute... He claims to have walked on the moon? How are we supposed to trust a guy who is part of one of the biggest conspiracies in the history of conspiracies?

Dr. Mitchell, if you want to salvage any credibility at all, you will admit to your role in faking the moon landings, and that all the footage we saw was shot in a studio in Area 52. (Yeah, that's right. We know Area 51 is just a decoy.) Come on, Dr. Edgar Mitchell (if that is your real name). Don't you think you owe America the truth?

1 comment:

Chris Wilde said...

Edgar Mitchell...Lisa Nowak...we have a hallowed tradition of insanity among former astronauts, dating all the way back to when John Glenn first ran as a Democrat.

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