Now gluten-free!

Monday, October 30, 2006

It Sucks to Be a Vampire

I hate to be the one to say this to any vampire readers of this blog, but you don't exist. LiveScience.com reports that you are a mathematical impossibility:
    University of Central Florida physics professor Costas Efthimiou's work debunks pseudoscientific ideas, such as vampires and zombies, in an attempt to enhance public literacy. Not only does the public believe in such topics, but the percentages are at dangerously high level, Efthimiou told LiveScience.

    Legend has it that vampires feed on human blood and once bitten a person turns into a vampire and starts feasting on the blood of others.

    Efthimiou's debunking logic: On Jan 1, 1600, the human population was 536,870,911. If the first vampire came into existence that day and bit one person a month, there would have been two vampires by Feb. 1, 1600. A month later there would have been four, and so on. In just two-and-a-half years the original human population would all have become vampires with nobody left to feed on.
And here I always thought that math wouldn't have any practical application in life.

Of course, this could all be part of a conspiracy to get us to let our guard down. After all, one of the most popular mathematicians in the world is himself a vampire...

7 comments:

Jennifer said...

Good post number 30, ah. ah. ah. ah.

Chris Wilde said...

Maybe vampires frequently bite each other. That would limit the exponential growth curve. Moreover, if the second bite has a inverse phase relationship to the first bite, they would cancel each other out. Therefore, the bitee would be disenvampirated on each even-numbered bite, and the vampire population would maintain a relative state of equilibrium.

Lee Shelton said...

One could also argue that any subsequent bite would actually serve to increase one's vampiristic abilities, thereby making them all the more potent. I could be wrong, of course. Besides, I think they can sniff each other out.

Chris Wilde said...

Yes, if multiple bites caused increased vampirism in a single individual, then you might see slower growth but increased potency in the vampire population. Probably this would be concentrated in geographic areas like the Transylvanian Alps and Pennsylvania Ave.

Anonymous said...

the bitten thing is just a myth. you don't become a vampire if you get bitten by another one. you are supposed to be born one. that's how the first vampire came out, borned by humans. the chance is very low but it makes your math worthless regarless.

Lee Shelton IV said...

Sorry, there, Count. I've never been a math guy.

Abigail said...

There are many myths stating that it is not the bite itself that causes vampirism, but an exchange of blood between the vampire and its victim.

Related Posts Widget for Blogs by LinkWithin